While I can’t say I never lie, most of the time what gets me
in trouble is that I tell the truth. Yes, you are reading that right, more
people get upset with me because I tell them my honest opinion rather than what
they want to hear.
Women in my family no longer ask me if I like their new
hair, or if their behind looks big in a given outfit, they have learned they
might not like what I have to say. After all, they are asking my opinion, not
about facts.
I have always felt that if you are asking my opinion I
should give you “my” opinion, not the opinion I think you want to hear. If you want
to hear what you want to hear you better tell me in advance.
I guess to be truthful what gets me in trouble is not giving
my opinion when asked, but rather giving my opinion when people simply make a
comment, but don’t really ask for an opinion. Now this might just be a comment
about something as subjective as Ford is the best truck out there, or Harley
Davidson’s are the Only motorcycle worth riding, but they are not asking me
what I think, they are telling me their own opinion. Where the rub comes is
when I call them on that opinion. Ask for more details: Which model and year of
Ford pickup, only motorcycle worth riding on the road? In the dirt, where?
It seems that some people take
offence at being asked to validate their opinion. I don’t do it to pick on them
personally, but rather more in a fact gathering effort. Why do they think that,
what specifically is it about X or Y that makes it the best? What sets it apart
from others in their eyes? I attribute it to my being what my wife calls “a
data dump.” I’m never happy with just accepting something at face value; I need
to know why they think that, what makes something better in their eyes?
Now generally I have a few facts
to back up my opinion, and if they have their own facts we can have an
interesting conversation, perhaps even a debate. So long as tempers are kept in
check we all walk away a bit better educated about what makes the other person
tick. Of course, some days I just am feeling a bit ornery and I’ll voice a
counter opinion just to get the other person fired up. I know I shouldn’t I
know it might make them mad at me, but it will also get us both to thinking
about why we have those opinions. I used to think perhaps I could change
someone’s mind; I have long since given up on that. While it does occasionally happen,
it’s far from the norm. But like I said, if it gets us both thinking, so much
the better.
So, if some time in the future I
make a comment on something you have said, don’t think that I’m trying to say
you are wrong [if I think that I’ll tell you ;-)], I am just trying to get you
to engage in conversation and get more data!
After all, it seems that the "truth" is often a subjective thing, or in need of clarification, don't you think? ;-)
