Saturday, March 26, 2016

Truth: Or who wants to hear it.

While I can’t say I never lie, most of the time what gets me in trouble is that I tell the truth. Yes, you are reading that right, more people get upset with me because I tell them my honest opinion rather than what they want to hear.

Women in my family no longer ask me if I like their new hair, or if their behind looks big in a given outfit, they have learned they might not like what I have to say. After all, they are asking my opinion, not about facts.

I have always felt that if you are asking my opinion I should give you “my” opinion, not the opinion I think you want to hear. If you want to hear what you want to hear you better tell me in advance.
I guess to be truthful what gets me in trouble is not giving my opinion when asked, but rather giving my opinion when people simply make a comment, but don’t really ask for an opinion. Now this might just be a comment about something as subjective as Ford is the best truck out there, or Harley Davidson’s are the Only motorcycle worth riding, but they are not asking me what I think, they are telling me their own opinion. Where the rub comes is when I call them on that opinion. Ask for more details: Which model and year of Ford pickup, only motorcycle worth riding on the road? In the dirt, where?

It seems that some people take offence at being asked to validate their opinion. I don’t do it to pick on them personally, but rather more in a fact gathering effort. Why do they think that, what specifically is it about X or Y that makes it the best? What sets it apart from others in their eyes? I attribute it to my being what my wife calls “a data dump.” I’m never happy with just accepting something at face value; I need to know why they think that, what makes something better in their eyes?

Now generally I have a few facts to back up my opinion, and if they have their own facts we can have an interesting conversation, perhaps even a debate. So long as tempers are kept in check we all walk away a bit better educated about what makes the other person tick. Of course, some days I just am feeling a bit ornery and I’ll voice a counter opinion just to get the other person fired up. I know I shouldn’t I know it might make them mad at me, but it will also get us both to thinking about why we have those opinions. I used to think perhaps I could change someone’s mind; I have long since given up on that. While it does occasionally happen, it’s far from the norm. But like I said, if it gets us both thinking, so much the better.


So, if some time in the future I make a comment on something you have said, don’t think that I’m trying to say you are wrong [if I think that I’ll tell you ;-)], I am just trying to get you to engage in conversation and get more data!  

After all, it seems that the "truth" is often a subjective thing, or in need of clarification, don't you think? ;-)

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